The Journal
by allie02020
Summary: Sneak peek into Lucy and Wyatt's future life. Set few years after s2 finale.


They were talking about this for a few months now, knowing that the deadline was gradually and steadily approaching. She didn't know whether the best strategy was to avoid the discussion at all costs or to omit some parts of the truth. She had taken the decision long time before she took a pen in her hand for the first time but Wyatt did not know all of it. She wished he actually wouldn't interfere in any of that.

'I made coffee for you.' He approached her from behind, holding her favourite china cup with blossoming flowers on it. She had spent whole morning holding the half-empty journal in her hands and thinking about past events. Thankfully he was there to distract her a bit so just hearing his soft voice made her smile. He put so much effort into making their every-day life joyful she couldn't really say where he got all this energy from. She often thought about all those little gestures which made her fall in love with him once again every single day.

'How is it going?' he asked looking in the book in her hand.

'Not great…' she hesitantly answered. 'It's not easy to remember everything that happened.'

He looked at her as if she were crazy.

'Where is my Lucy and what did you do to her?!' He pretended he was looking for her around the kitchen. She laughed.

'Okay, you're right. But it actually is… And then, when I finally figure out all the pieces I have to decide or guess or predict what sort of impact it can have… Knowing or not knowing. So I sit here for hours and think about all the scenarios. It's actually annoying.'

'Annoying?'

'Terrifying might be the best word. I think I should not do this.' She confessed.

He could not really imagine being in her shoes right now. But they knew from the beginning that it was necessary for the mission to succeed.

'Maybe we take it one step at a time.' He suggested. He felt a bit useless seeing her sitting on this small kitchen chair every morning biting her nails. It was not how she was supposed to spend their honeymoon. 'Let's first figure out all the things we just need to preserve no matter what so the decision whether to include them in the journal or not will be simple.'

'And how to I know which ones are crucial?'

'That's easy.' He was surprised she did not guess the answer yet. 'You just imagine that they don't happen.'

He wanted to say _You just imagine another timeline_ but giving all of their painful history he didn't. In another timeline he was a widower. In another timeline she continued to be a history professor. In another timeline they never met.

She looked at him with love in her eyes. This conversation was meant to be bitter-sweet, he thought.

'Come sit with me?' she offered. He wasn't really sure what she had in mind but he sat on a chair next to her that she showed him. She almost immediately stood up and sat on his lap, wrapping her legs behind the chair (there was another one to support her), practically half-lying on him. She fitted perfectly, he thought.

'So the very first thing would be that I need to become history teacher.' She started watching closely his reaction. He just nodded in response as he knew how much history meant to her. She laughed out hard.

'Oh Wyatt, I think because it is our honeymoon I owe you the truth about this since still I don't think you understand. That was a joke. It's not the first thing that came to my mind.'

'It's not?' he got confused.

'No. First thing would be us.' She looked for his lips and kissed him hard. 'I can imagine world without being a teacher. I cannot imagine one without you. That is one thing I do know for sure.'

She wanted to sound happy and carefree while revealing that but there was so much they had been through at that point it was not that easy. She coughed so the tears that started forming in her eyes would not fall down but it did not work very well. He looked at her and kissed her cheeks on both sides and finally laid his lips on hers again.

They got lost in the moment immediately. No matter how much time passed it seemed like there was never enough time in the world to make them satisfied with each other. The problem has gotten worse since their wedding and, well, neither of them was wishing for it to end.

Finally, they broke the kiss off and Lucy found herself cuddled closely to Wyatt's chest.

'I cannot really imagine what it's gonna be like when it's not just us anymore.' She almost whispered to him. It was quite in the house they rented for their honeymoon trip but both of them acted as if someone was just about to the enter the room. And the truth was they were not alone anymore.

'I'm so happy about it, Lucy.' Wyatt smiled hard at her and hugged her even more closely.

'I'm so happy about it, too.'

'So we agree.' He used their line from before. 'We do.'

'What else do you want to stay the same?'

'Uhm, I don't really know.' She tried to stall a bit. In her mind she was fighting about how to break the news to him so she would not hurt him too much. 'I want us to get to know Rufus and Jiya, obviously. And Denise.'

'I know I can't save my mother either way so that is settled. I wish we could save more people, you know? There were so many soldiers and families and people that we have met that just happened to be in the way.' He knew even after all those years she still regretted she could not save everyone.

'But it is not what I am pondering about when I come here in the morning, to be honest.' She finally revealed.

'What is it then?'

She moved and eventually stood up, separating herself from him for a bit. She needed to stay focused to explain to him what she had come to understand recently. She was convinced there was no other way.

'I think I know what I need to write in the journal.' She started. 'I mean; I know some parts of the story very well. Some parts Flynn read to me so I put them down first.' Lucy took the journal in her hands and showed him the first few pages.

'But the truth is I know that I don't really have a choice here, Wyatt. That is what I've realised.'

'What do you mean exactly by that?' he started to sound angry.

'I mean I have to write everything down exactly as it happened.' She revealed with tears in her eyes. It did not help that being pregnant made her even more emotional.

He just sat there, not sure he really understood what she was saying.

'You want to make us go through all of it… not change one single thing?' he could not believe her. 'Lucy, how the hell?! So many times we talked about this, how we will make it better!' He realised he raised his voice and he hated himself for that. She put protectively her hand at her stomach and it broke his heart seeing her so vulnerable and sad.

'Do you think I had not wished it was different!?' she asked him while wiping tears of her cheeks.

'I think you know there must be another way!'

'There is not. The history needs to stay unchanged and that is the only way we know the future won't. It is too dangerous to interfere!'

'Do you need me to remind you what it means for us?!'

'It means a wedding and a honeymoon and a kid, Wyatt, that is what it means! It is not a bad scenario, is it?'

'It means we lose Rufus for almost five years! It means we let Jiya spend three years in Chinatown in 1888! It means we almost get killed in the battle of Alamo! It means...' he stopped abruptly, suddenly very sure he did not want to say the next few words. _It means you lose your sister forever._

'I know.' Tears were streaming down her face. 'But I cannot risk anymore. Please, try to understand.'

Another vision made him go blind practically. 'It means you let yourself have feelings for Flynn.'

She stayed silent while he threw another emotional punch at her. 'it means you let him love you, Lucy.' Wyatt said with a broken voice. She could not really fix it that he remembered how it felt to lose Lucy to Flynn for a moment and it affected him then a lot. 'It means you sleep with him.'

She wasn't sure how to respond to that. How was she supposed to convince him she did not want it at all at this moment and she hated the idea as much as he did?

'Wyatt, please.' She approached him with arms set out in his direction. 'I hate it, too. I don't even know if you understand what it means to me. I love you now as much as I did back then. Time with Flynn was nothing but me being heartbroken and unsure and alone... I wished we could erase it from our story, too.' She sat on a chair, tired. 'I need you to believe me. I am doing that only because I need our present and our future to look the way they are supposed to. For us.'

'When did you actually change your mind? We talked about this so many times.'

'When I found out we were expecting.' She simply said. 'Even before I guess, when we started trying, actually. I cannot change it that I already feel like a mom, Wyatt. And we need to protect him or her even if it means not having a chance to rewrite history.'

'I know it is difficult for you. But Wyatt, it's not the worst thing in the world that we want to preserve our happiness, right?' She slowly took his hand and placed it on her stomach. She still was so happy and excited for everything the future was holding for them.

He stood still for a long moment. Then he looked up at her in awe, as if he saw her for the first time.

'Thank you.' It looked as if he was confused and embarrassed at the same time. All the anger already disappeared from his face. 'Thank you for making me understand.'

And Lucy realised that in this exact moment Wyatt Logan had become a father. One who would never let anything happen to their child.

They got over the hump.

'Wyatt,' she asked him with a whisper. 'Can you take me to our bed?'

'Always.' He simply said.

She turned and thought he would just follow her but suddenly she felt his strong arms pick her up with no effort. He showed her to wrap her arms around his neck for more stability and started walking up the stairs. In the middle he stopped for a second to look at her face, not willing to refrain anymore from smiling. The hope he was starting to feel overwhelmed him. 'Lucy' he said looking directly at her.

'Wyatt?' she answered back, not sure what to expect.

'I think we won't get out of bed for a long time now.' He said and he kissed her before she could protest.

* * *

 _This is the very first time I am posting something here… Just tried to imagine how Lucy and Wyatt's future would like a bit. Sorry for all the errors – English is not my mother tongue_.


End file.
